The Diatribe * net

In a little more than 48 hours, I’ll be on my way to explore the Western Coast of this fine land. Just like the pioneers, or the vast number of people during the gold rush — I, too — will be heading west.

I think we’ve got it just about all figured out, with the minor exceptions of a hotel here, or an itinerary for this town.. but in all we’ll be travelling more than 1,200 miles in just about 9 days. This map is a little off, as we’ll be hugging the coast quite a bit more, but.. it’s still a general guideline. VERY exciting.

My horoscope is actually fairly interesting, considering the upcoming trip:

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re being called on to meet a higher
standard. You’re being asked to boost your output or take on more
responsibility or show you can handle greater expectations. While it’s
understandable if that’s unnerving, I urge you to keep it all in perspective.
Remember what journeyman basketball player Jon Koncak said when
assigned the task of replacing his team’s departed all-star, Shaquille
O’Neal. Reporters asked him if he felt a lot of pressure. “Not at all,” he
replied. “Pressure to me is being in an airplane and the pilot dies and they
ask me to fly the plane.” The challenge you face may be daunting, Taurus,
but it’s nothing like that.

I guess this means that I need to step it up with some of the planning. Usually I leave a lot of this stuff to Miss Possible, who does a fabulous job — but as it says here, I really need to step it up a notch. Either way, it’s a much-deserved vacation and hopefully will be a fantastic time.

I hope to have updated entries as we go.. with photos, and such using my new Photo Gallery Tool. So be sure to stay tuned.

Meanwhile, be sure to check out your own Horoscope, courtesy of FreeWillAstrology, by clicking on the “Full Article and Comments” link below:

~ LTJ

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Afghanistan’s President Hamid Karzai wants to
wipe out his country’s opium fields. To do so would destroy the lucrative
heroin trade, and local warlords couldn’t use their ill-gained profits to
influence the parliamentary elections coming up in April. But American
military leaders don’t want to burn all the poppies. They fear that might
destroy Afghanistan’s economy and make elections impossible. Heroin is a
major export and source of revenue, after all. I predict that you’ll soon be
facing a personal quandary with resemblances to this one, Aries. What
should you do? I suggest you avoid abstract speculations about morality,
and instead simply do what’s most likely to build up the moral courage of
everyone involved.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’re being called on to meet a higher
standard. You’re being asked to boost your output or take on more
responsibility or show you can handle greater expectations. While it’s
understandable if that’s unnerving, I urge you to keep it all in perspective.
Remember what journeyman basketball player Jon Koncak said when
assigned the task of replacing his team’s departed all-star, Shaquille
O’Neal. Reporters asked him if he felt a lot of pressure. “Not at all,” he
replied. “Pressure to me is being in an airplane and the pilot dies and they
ask me to fly the plane.” The challenge you face may be daunting, Taurus,
but it’s nothing like that.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): It’s a perfect time to convene a summit
conference for all your sub-personalities. Most of them are now amenable
to setting aside their differences and agreeing on a new master plan. Even
your inner child and your inner stuntperson are inclined to see eye-to-eye.
That bodes well for the possibility of staging a festival of harmony that
brings out the cooperative spirit in your inner gadfly, your inner rebel,
your inner spy, and several other inner selves that normally pursue their
private agendas.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I was meditating on your horoscope as I rode
my bike up the hill in a misty rain. “Give me a sign,” I prayed to the grey-
yellow sky. “What do Cancerians need to know?” As I pedaled over the
last hump and reached the top, a spectacular response materialized–a
five-alarm fire of a rainbow. To my further amazement, I saw where one
end of it landed: on the rusty metal roof of a shack in a horse pasture not
too far away. I threw down my bike and dashed to it. There were slats
missing in the shack’s walls, so I could peer inside. I saw a black metal
safe in the middle of the room, surrounded by wisps of straw and chained
to a u-shaped pipe that disappeared into the floor. I knew I had obtained
the oracle you needed–a rough metaphor for the uncanny fate awaiting
you. My intuition told me there’ll be one difference between my
experience and yours: Whereas I had no legal right to whatever was in the
safe, you can and should gain access to the storehouse you find.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1972, Leo singer Mick Jagger said, “When I’m
33, I’ll quit rock and roll. That’s a time when a man has to do something
else. I don’t want to be a rock star all my life.” At age 61, Jagger has now
been reneging on that promise for almost three decades. It’s probably for
the best. A person with an ego as monumental as his would likely have
been unhappy as, say, a kindergarten teacher or economist. I bring this
up, Leo, because it is Renege on Your Unwise, Unwarranted, Unworkable
Promises Week. Let Jagger be your inspiration as you weasel out of or
bravely renounce an old vow.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “People change and forget to tell each other,”
mourned playwright Lillian Hellman. I bring this thought to your attention,
Virgo, because at least one of your relationships now fits this description.
It’s at a pivotal point when the accumulated changes you have both
undergone can no longer remain unspoken. To avoid becoming irrelevant
to each other, you must communicate the backlog of truth now. (P.S. I
suspect there are actually two relationships like this.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Charles Darwin spoke of the “survival of the
fittest” as being a central factor in the process of evolution. What exactly
did he mean by that phrase? The following quote from his seminal book,
*The Origin of Species,* makes it clear: “It is not the strongest of the
species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most
responsive to change.” I suggest you make that thought the seed of your
meditations in the coming weeks, Libra. Your literal survival won’t be at
stake, but the survival of some of your fond dreams might be in question.
The only way to guarantee that they thrive is to keep transforming
yourself.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The python is your power animal right now,
Scorpio. It’s renowned for eating large meals. By stretching its jaws, it can
devour an entire deer or crocodile in one sitting, providing enough
nutrition for as long as a year. Somewhat like the python, you’re now in
position to ingest a huge amount of food for thought–a banquet of rich
and tasty revelations. The feast will take months to digest, and will be a
continual source of nourishment the entire time.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I’ve decided to install Britney Spears as
the Sagittarius of the Week. Not because of her singing or dancing, nor
her eccentric relationship with the institution of marriage. Rather, I’m
giving her temporary status as your role model because of her disdain for
what anyone thinks of her. In recent weeks she has been photographed
wandering down the sidewalk with white pimple cream liberally spread on
her face. Other photos have revealed her picking her nose, wearing a
white t-shirt stained brown from an apparent soft drink spill, and sporting
a baseball hat bearing the slogan “Carp?? Ass??m: Seize the Ass.” Be like
her in your own sphere, Sagittarius: cheerfully immune to the oppression
of public opinion, peer pressure, conventional wisdom, and the law of the
pack.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you try to operate a chainsaw or
backhoe before you’ve been trained in its use, you might hurt yourself or
others. That doesn’t mean the chainsaw and backhoe are evil. Now let’s
apply this idea as a metaphor for a situation you face right now. I believe
you are at the earliest stages of your relationship with a freshly
discovered potential. You’ve realized the benefits that it can ultimately
offer you, but you’re nowhere near being able to wield it safely and
effectively. Having sounded this warning, however, I want to encourage
you to begin learning how to use it immediately.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “It’s not that I’m so smart,” said Albert
Einstein, “it’s just that I stay with problems longer.” This thought should
be your foundation in the coming week, Aquarius. As innovative as you
can be in dreaming up solutions to knotty dilemmas, you are sometimes
insufficiently devoted to the drudgery of executing all the details of your
solutions; you don’t always follow up on your promising beginnings. The
good news is that this is a perfect moment to change that old pattern. I
dare you to endure boredom for the sake of a very good cause.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your official role model for the coming weeks
is the Vietnamese freedom fighter, Trieu Thi Trinh, who resisted the
Chinese occupation of her country in the third century. Unlike her, you
shouldn’t *literally* raise a rebel army, establish your own sovereign
enclave, and ride into battle against the invaders on the back of an
elephant. (Although it’s fine to do all that stuff metaphorically.) Like her,
you should agitate for liberation with unstinting exuberance, as if your
soul’s health depended on it. I suggest you write her most famous
utterance on a piece of paper and carry it with you everywhere you go:
“My wish is to ride the tempest, tame the waves, kill the sharks. I will not
resign myself.”