Passover Pains

So, all this week my stomach has been a mess, and I’ve been baffled as to why.. I guess it shouldn’t have taken me long to realize that you don’t spell relief M-A-T-Z-O.

After a little research, I’ve found that by eating Matzo, you are technically consuming paste. According to E-How.com, the instructions to make paste are as follows:

1. Gather all your materials and spread a plastic cover over your work area, including the floor.

2. Pour equal parts flour and water into a plastic bucket or bowl and blend with a mixing spoon. The amount you make depends on the size of the project. Two cups each of flour and water is good for a smaller project; you can always make more if you run out.

3. Add flour to thicken the mixture or water to thin it until you reach the desired consistency – a smooth liquid with no lumps. The paste should stick smoothly to paper strips without dripping off.

4. Add salt to the paste to keep it from getting moldy; add white glue for extra stickiness.

And the ingredients for any type of Matzo are simply: Passover Flour and Water. Sometimes some other ingredients are added in, but these are the basics.. So when you think of these two items combining in your stomach, at 98.6+ degrees. It must turn into a pasty mess in anyone’s stomach..

I’m counting down the minutes until Sunday night at sundown.

… and now for something completely different …

This girl has baffled everyone in my office. Is she photoshopped? Is she for real? Is the photographer terrible or a genius? Why does she change clothes mid-party? So many questions that need to be answered.

Drinkie Drink

Kurt Nova Scotia here.  I’m not coping well with the news that LTJ is leaving Boston.  I’m sure I have a post or two on that subject being edited within me as I sit here, but I’m not ready to go there yet.  Since I’ve been half in the bag since LTJ told me he took that job, I thought I’d share with you an article that put a smile on my face (and if you know me, you know that’s as rare as Haley’s Comet). 

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2005/04/28/a_4_am_close_for_hotel_bars_proposed/

Boston is a great little city, but she’s not reaching her full potential.  What would help Boston reach her full potential, you ask?  Why, later and greater access to alcohol, of course!  I’m kidding…sort of.  Drinking late is just one step in making Boston a more world-class city.  We need more (that would mean any) all-night restaurants.  We need public transportation that runs later into the early morning hours.  This will attract more visitors and tourists into the city and it will infuse Boston with much-needed cash.

The old fools on Beacon Hill think that only college students would benefit from keeping the bars open later and running the T a couple hours later.  They’re wrong.  Simple as that.  Thank goodness for the couple of level-headed members of the state legislature who are thinking clearly.  Or…maybe it’s just that they also feel stifled by a 1:30 am last call.  I, for one, am going to be the first to buy them a drink at 3:30 am when I see them at City Bar.

Half Magnolia, Half 6th Grade Science

I remember when I was in Sixth Grade, I learned about Spontaneous Combustion. It seemed like a cool concept, but my sixth grade Biology teach (Mrs. Giglio) taught us that this was impossible, and it’s a myth.

Well, Myth or not.. it seems to be happening to some toads in Germany. German scientists are baffled as to why 1,000 some toads have exploded in the past few weeks.

“It looks like a scene from a science-fiction movie,” Werner Schmolnik, the head of a local environment group, told the Hamburger Abendblatt daily. “The bloated animals suffer for several minutes before they finally die.”

Tragic, but true. And I thought this was something that only PT Anderson could come up with!

Da bombshell

Now that the bombshell has been dropped at work, I can post here. Yes it’s me: Brandon’s girlfriend and co-worker, though most of you probably already knew that. Word spread like wildfire, I blinked and everyone knew that we were dating and leaving. It’s the double, double whammy.

Today was crazy, unbelievable, ironic, sad, happy, scary, exhilirating… it was every emotion intensified. At times I was grinning ear to ear, others I was dabbing at my eyes. One enlightening part of giving our notice at work was not only realizing how much I’m going to miss the place, but also how much the company and our co-workers are going to miss us.

Of course, I don’t have a job yet, but I’m not too worried, the pieces have been fitting together on their own.

Like a co-worker of mine said today, there are three things you have to figure out in life: 1) where you want to live 2) who you want to be with and 3) what you want to do. He said that at any one time you can only focus on two of the three. Right now I have 1 and 2 locked in. So I’m not going to worry about 3 too much for now.

On that note, I think my horoscope is most apropos:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ve been given a prophetic glimpse of the great victory that’s possible. You’re very close to neutralizing an old bugaboo and making sure that the past will no longer hold you back. Now comes the hardest part: Will you be able to sustain your concentration
until the triumphs are actually accomplished? Or will you be lulled into lazy complacency by the sense of security that your partial breakthroughs
have provided? Personally, I believe you *will* summon the dogged
ingenuity necessary to finish the job; you *will* turn *almost* into
*completely.*

Ha! If I’m reading this right, I should get up off my ass and find a job already! Then again, if I read into it more, it could mean that this is the opportunity to pursue all the thoughts I’ve had about doing something *completely* different with my life. Whatya think?

The Great Burrito Wars

The title reminds me of the Banana wars that went back and forth between Europe and the States in the 90’s, but not quite. What I’m referring to is the number of burrito places in the Porter Square (Somerville, MA) area. First off, there’s Anna’s Tacqueria — Far and Away the absolute best burrito establishment in the Greater boston area. With 4 locations (2 in Somerville, 2 in Brookline) they really haven’t expanded, but be willing to wait in line no matter which one you visit. And for $3.75 you can get a burrito the size of your head.

Here comes the war part. As I mentioned, there are two Anna’s Tacqueria’s within 1/2 mile of eachother in Somerville, but there’s also Boca Grande. Second rate to Anna’s, but for $3.75 it’s another great choice.. good stuff, no complaints. BG is about 2 blocks away from Anna’s and the two are always packed.

Which leads me to wonder why someone felt that Qdoba belonged to be part of this neighborhood. There’s already two places doing a bang-up job.. and maybe that’s part of it (the demand), but when you’re charging $5.95 for a burrito that is slightly bigger than Anna’s, is it really that necessary? When I first went there, I was expecting something amazing.. for $1.50 more than the burrito that the guys at Anna’s slap together, I figured this place had to be great. Boy was I wrong.

Qdoba is terrible. At least the one in Porter.. I’ll never understand what the owner was thinking, when they wanted to put one within one baseball’s throw of Anna’s and 3 blocks from Boca Grande.. Someone really made a bonehead business decision if you ask me..

What I think Anna’s should do — is they should find all the Qdoba’s in greater boston, and move into their “space.” Do something similar to the McDonald’s-Burger King theory. Try to infringe upon the other’s customers. I mean, isn’t that what Qdoba was trying to do to Anna’s? It’s definitely going to backfire in the Porter Sq. neighborhood — and if you ask me, I think Qdoba should be driven out of Boston entirely due to their poor market entrance.

Well, that’s my two cents at least.

Familiar with Anna’s? Check out this amazing story… 1 Meal.. 1 Man.. 3 Super Burritos. Unbelievable. Who’da thunk this was even possible???

UPDATE:
After all this Burrito talk, that’s all I wanted for dinner.. but no.. it’s Passover. ARGH!

Paging Ron Mexico…

I hope you’ve heard about Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick using Ron Mexico as his alias on the road.  It turns out he was busted with that alias when he was allegedly accused of giving a woman some STD.  Ahh…the life of a pro quarterback…

Well, thanks to Sports Illustrated and CNN, we can all live that life at least for a fleeting moment.  Visit this link, type in your full name, and find out what your Vick-like alias would be.

For the record, I’m Kurt Nova Scotia, so please practice some discretion if you see me macking with a frozen female in the Northern Hemisphere.

http://gorillamask.net/ronmexico/

Quick Rant In Re: Old Mustache Face

Let’s see if this makes me feel any better…

I hate David McCarty – first baseman for the Boston Red Sox.  I cannot recall ever hating a Sox player with as much intensity as I hate McCarty.  It started with the fact that he stole Brian Daubach’s roster spot on the team coming out of the 2004 Spring Training.  That Epstein/Francona decision was based on the cute little idea that McCarty could also pitch out of the bullpen if necessary.  That happened two or three times, which was hardly enough reason to let Dauber rot in Pawtucket all season. 

I went to a couple of PawSox games in 2004 and in one of them, both Dauber and Old Mustache Face were playing.  McCrappy was drilled with a pitch and I cheered louder than I ever have.  He later grounded out to second and I cheered once more.  Dauber hit the game winning home run in the bottom of the eighth inning of that game and I had to be restrained from running onto the field to hug him and yell "Daubach is my daddy!"

Okay, not only did I get off track a bit, but I failed to keep it very brief.  There’s nothing I like about Old Mustache Face.  Not his ugly, leathery face.  Not his handlebar mustache, circa 1880.  Not his horrendously ugly swing which usually leads to groundouts or lazy fly outs.  The worst part is that Francona insists on playing Old Mustache Face every game.  Millar could be 3-3 with 5 RBI, yet Mustachio will trot over to first base in the seventh or eighth inning.

Sure, there have been plenty of sucky Sox scrubs, but none who have gotten as much unearned playing time as this jackhole.  Do I feel better now?  Yes, but only until the eighth inning of tonight’s game, I’m sure.

Wha happened…?

(a) What have I gotten myself into?  Do I have a problem saying ‘no?’  Perhaps.  I let LTJ talk me into becoming his blogging co-conspirator and all it’s done for me so far is increase my chances of getting an ulcer.  And that was just from my own web site navigation issues.  What will push me over the edge is trying to keep up with LTJ.  It’s impossible, so I pretty much have resigned myself to the fact that I’ll post a couple times a week and (hopefully…maybe) always leave you wanting more.  Hey, I’m entitled to a little ego now and then.

(b) It feels like my life just got a whole lot less interesting recently.  From November until about a week ago I seemed to be always on the go.  There were always plans and always something to look forward to and holidays and dates.  But now I get the feeling that the brakes got squeezed on this go-go lifestyle.  I think I’m okay with that.  I don’t mind being home more often to catch my favorite TV shows (just in time to catch the summer reruns of all the shows I missed) and read a bit.  Plus, I can recharge my battery and come out swinging for the summertime, which I hope will be a return to constant activity.

For a little while at least I’m going to live by Ferris Bueller’s philosophy:

"Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t slow down once in a while, you could miss it."

My 10 Reasons why Google is so cool

10. Google Groups – Great feature that has turned the long forgotten newsgroups (that I enjoyed from my BBS days) into a working messageboards system

9. In order to work there, you have to pass the GLAT (Google Labs Aptitude Test)

8. People + Google = Clever

7. Newly introduced Google Maps. Now with Satellite Imaging! You can even get a map of Things that suck in Manhattan

6. Google Whacking

5. Opening up Google’s API has allowed for crazy things like Craigslist Meets Google

4. Want to take a tour of the US, but too lazy to leave your house? Go Google Sightseeing

3. Looking for anything? Google it. Can’t remember a song lyric? The Capital of Arkansas? Pictures of Boston?

2. Google AdWords and their contextual link model has forever changed online advertising

1. Gmail – Can e-mail get any better? Contact me if you need an invite!

Have another reason why Google is so damn cool? Disagree? Add your $.02!