The Diatribe * net

So, all this week my stomach has been a mess, and I’ve been baffled as to why.. I guess it shouldn’t have taken me long to realize that you don’t spell relief M-A-T-Z-O.

After a little research, I’ve found that by eating Matzo, you are technically consuming paste. According to E-How.com, the instructions to make paste are as follows:

1. Gather all your materials and spread a plastic cover over your work area, including the floor.

2. Pour equal parts flour and water into a plastic bucket or bowl and blend with a mixing spoon. The amount you make depends on the size of the project. Two cups each of flour and water is good for a smaller project; you can always make more if you run out.

3. Add flour to thicken the mixture or water to thin it until you reach the desired consistency - a smooth liquid with no lumps. The paste should stick smoothly to paper strips without dripping off.

4. Add salt to the paste to keep it from getting moldy; add white glue for extra stickiness.

And the ingredients for any type of Matzo are simply: Passover Flour and Water. Sometimes some other ingredients are added in, but these are the basics.. So when you think of these two items combining in your stomach, at 98.6+ degrees. It must turn into a pasty mess in anyone’s stomach..

I’m counting down the minutes until Sunday night at sundown.

… and now for something completely different …

This girl has baffled everyone in my office. Is she photoshopped? Is she for real? Is the photographer terrible or a genius? Why does she change clothes mid-party? So many questions that need to be answered.