The Diatribe * net

I have a dream! Boys, I may not make it through this battle alive, but I’m sure as hellfire going to run into it with a head of steam.  It has long been my dream to conquer Quincy Center.  In this small "downtown" area, there are no less than 21 bars.  I intend to drink at [...]

I’m in Hobokistan (a.k.a Hoboken, NJ…a.k.a. the current home of Cap’n Larby and the the greatest place in the world!!!!!!) just for the night and tomorrow. I’m sorry to say that I drove down here in a Dodge Neon…that’s right folks, a White Dodge Neon.Could I BE any more FRUITY? I’ll make my reutrn trip [...]

1945: United Nations was Founded 1956: The Soviet Union invaded Hungary 1973: The Yom Kippur War came to an end 2004: The last time Curt Schilling stood on the mound at Fenway Park That was 169 days ago and yet it seems like forever ago. Red Sox nation has basked in the glory of its World Series title and [...]

There's bad haircuts -- and then there's Bad Haircuts. This one was the latter, for sure.

Every month I make my pilgrimmage to the "___ barbers" where I get my haircut for a reasonable fee. I don't go to any stylist, or salon.. this is a straight-up barbershop. The kind that has Playboy and Penthouse as reading material for the patrons to paruse through while waiting for their turn in the chair.

Like most barbershops, this place has 4-5 barbers that are doing their thing. You can request a specific individual or you can go with the "random" method, that I felt was adequate... until today. I think part of the reason that I've opted for the random method was that of the 4 barbers, three of them are named Tony, so to try to request an appointment with Tony -- it'd just get really confusing.

So, I get there, and they give me to this guy I've never seen before. He sits me down, and covers me with the tarp-type-thing. "How do you want it?" He asks. I tell him that I'm just looking for a trim. "You can even take a little off the top, finger length or so," I added. He then tells me that he won't cut my hair like that because with fine hair like mine, finger length is not a good measurement, and it'll be all uneven. [ At this point, I figured he knew what he was talking about. Sounded logical. ]

So he whips out the Razor and JAMS it into the side of my head. Forcing my head back.. and to the left.. back and to the left. I was reliving the JFK movie all over again, as this guy continues to ram the razor (thank G-D for the safety!) into my scalp.

After the initial forced-razoring, he whips out the scissors and invades my personal space one too many times. Personal space, when it comes to getting a haircut, is a lot more restricting than when you're just standing around talking to someone. Be he got way up in my grill, and was breathing heavily through his mouth. Extremely unpleasant.

(I never thought I’d reference E! Online, but..) According to a recent gossip column by “Kristin” , Arrested Development may not be facing the chopping block when it comes to a third season.

When I think of all of the dangerous things that anyone can come into contact with on a daily basis, there’s a countless number. Doors, however, are not usually the first item that comes to mind. On my commute home this evening, I came across this sight, and couldn’t help but photograph it. “Danger! Stay [...]

Last night’s episode of Arrested Developement was excellent, as always. I think the past two weeks haven’t been as funny as previous episodes, but they are still fantastic. Obviously the best quote from last night was the Buster’s Linus quote about Tobias in regards to the “Boys with Low Self Esteem” concept. There are now [...]