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Flamboyant and highly ironic imponderables at scionic speed while Captain Larby is in Atlanta

May 23rd, 2005 by Cool Jesus Leave a reply »

My roommate J was in Dowtown Crossing with her boyfriend Papi a couple of weekends ago and they ran into a girl (Swedish Girl) Papi once dated.  J thought this girl was just my type, so she immediately went to work.  She excitedly told me all about it that night and a few days later, after Papi talked to Swedish Girl, I was given her phone number and the green light.  That was about a week ago, maybe eight days.  I didn’t get around to calling until last night, when I left a voicemail.  She didn’t call back, so I called her again tonight.  I had to leave another voicemail.  I propose this question to you, did I dig my own grave by taking 7 or 8 days to call Swedish Girl?  Is there a statute of limitations in this situation in which the clock started running as soon as I was given the green light by Papi to call Swedish Girl?  It’s not like this is someone I met personally and then neglected to call for a week.  Should I even call her a third time or is her lack of answering and/or returning my call a sure-fire signal?

On the First Semi-Annual Quincy Center Pub Crawl, I doomed myself by sampling a veritable liquor store worth of booze, from beer, to Jack Daniel’s, to Captain Morgan, to red wine, to a Mai Tai.  At the First Annual Faneuil Hall Pub Crawl, I did the right thing.  I stuck to beer and Jack Daniel’s (with a Red Bull & Grey Goose thrown in), although Nurse Mandy claims she and I somehow switched drinks at one bar and I ended up with her Captain and Ginger Ale and she ended up with my Jack & Sprite.  Still, after nearly 12 hours of drinking and virtually no eating, I was still doing my Arthur impression.

Several co-workers who were part of the Crawl were kind enough to tell me this morning that I looked awful.  That’s what friends are for.

I don’t like being 28 years old.  It’s way too close to 30, especially since I’m still so far away from where you’d think a 30 year-old should be.  I won’t own any property for quite a while.  I won’t be married for quite a while, if at all.  There are some small consolations, however.  I still have time to publish a book before age 30.  I’ll possess the title to my car by age 30.  I’ll have zero credit card debt by age 30.  Also, another silver lining is that, although I still have the 1-800 number, I still haven’t had to call to order any haleuronic acid.  So far, my water pillows are holding up nicely…knock on wood.

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