LTJ absolutely despises shopping for apartment stuff. I can’t really blame him. It’s not exactly a guy thing to do, poking around stores looking at lamp shades, pillows, window treatments, and decorative accents. And I don’t exactly like going all the way to the mall by myself. Don’t get me wrong though. He’s been a trooper. I dragged him out a half a dozen times and he only whined about every 5 minutes… uh, I mean every 5 seconds.
Anyways, our options are fairly limited. There’s a mall in Jersey City, but the Sears and J.C. Penneys are severely lacking. We did shop the heck out of the Bed Bath and Beyond. But there’s only so many times you can go to the same store, before you’ve bought everything you could possibly ever want to buy there.
We still needed several key items: a trash can, front door mat, bathroom rug, lamp shade, salt and pepper shaker, etc. Thus began my massive foray into online shopping. I shopped for hours and hours online looking for the perfect feng shui things. One night I was up until 4 a.m. I went to Amazon, Froogle, Crate and Barrel, Pier One, you name it. I ordered from a bunch of places and over the past weeks the boxes have been trickling in — all and all probably about 10-12 boxes.
Let’s just say that this foray did not go over so well. I’d say I have a 50% return rate, which frankly is just a huge pain in the ass.
Box #1 to return: Lucky Frog Fountain
So I ordered a fountain with a frog on it. I bet you’re thinking I returned it because it was cheesy and ugly. But no, it was actually quite nice. The only issue was it was chipped and broken when I received it. I’ll have to re-order. Frogs bring wealth and prosperity in feng shui.
Box #2 to return: 2-bin Recycling Can
Our current kitchen trash can comes from LTJ’s old room in Somerville. It’s pretty small and fills up quick.
I was really excited about the trash can I found online from Overstock.com: a two bin trash can, so you can use one bucket for recycling and the other for trash. You step on a lever to open it. It’s chrome. It looked like the perfect solution to our garbage disposal needs.
When the box arrived, we knew we were in trouble: the box was incredibly small. The can turned out to be even smaller than our current one. I went back to Overstock only to realize that the measurements were listed in centimeters not inches. So when I used the measuring tape to figure out how big it would be, it seemed a lot bigger than it really was. Those tricky bastards!
Box #3 to return: Salt and Pepper Shakers
I found these beautiful salt and pepper shakers on Target. When the box came, it was rather large. When I opened it, we almost died laughing. Where the trash can was too small, these were fricken gi-normous. I’ve never seen such large shakers in my life. I didn’t look at the measurements when I ordered, but going back now, they are listed as 8-1/2″. Who the hell needs foot-long shakers? I mean seriously! Back to the store they go.
Box #4 to return: Double 8 Couple Sculpture
Now I know you’re already laughing at me, but let me explain. In feng shui, the number 8 is a very positive number and in your relationships corner it is a good idea to have pairs of things, ie. like a couple standing together. If you are single and can’t seem to find a partner, you might want to check if you have single items throughout your room rather than paired items, especially in your relationships corner. For instance, you have a picture of a lone tree, or a single statue. If you just get a picture of two trees or two statues, according to feng shui, this will promote relationships within your life.
The idea was good. I mean look at it. Doesn’t it look serene and whole? But the actual statue when it came looked chintzy. It didn’t look as nice as the picture online. But now looking at the picture again, maybe I was just up too late and my eyes were bleary. Back to the store with you!
Box #5 to return: Blue Lampshade
When we first moved here, we made this amazing tag sale find: a unique lamp that fits with the colors in our living room perfect. The price: free (we went back post tag sale and it was on the curb for the trash man. We grabbed it).
The only problem with the lamp is a shade that’s too small. I found one that I thought would be bigger online, but alas I read the measurements backwards and it turned out to be smaller. Though, it did help us to realize that if we get a smaller harp for the lamp, then we’ll probably be ok with what we’ve got. So something positive came out of another return!
Moral of the story: When shopping online, pay careful attention to measurements, especially units.
Maybe online shopping isn’t the answer to all my woes. It just didn’t turn out to be the miracle solution to finishing this apartment. Oh well. What’s next? A trip to Walmart?
Swedish Girl brought me back an aligator head from an aligator farm in southern Florida. It's residing in my living room. What does feng shui say about this? Thanks.
Hm. An alligator head. That's a tough one. It's not covered in my books. I'm not sure what an alligator symbolizes, but I think its sharp teeth would be bad feng shui, as anything sharp produces "shooting arrows" that shoot out at you and attack you. Watch out!