Knock, Knock, Knockin’ on 30’s Door

I’d like to send belated Happy Birthday greetings to our very own special correspondant, Captain Larby.  The reason you haven’t heard much from him lately is because he is working on a very special assignment, one which takes precendence over our little web log.  I always feel young with that geezer Captain Larby around, but then I remember that LTJ is just a young buck and I go back to crying in my beer.  Nevertheless, happy 29th, Lars!  Can’t wait to see you and the future Mrs. Captain Larby in a couple of weeks.

Three Fingers Are All You Need

Not only is Mordecai a kick-ass name, but his parents also managed to get Centennial in there since he was born in 1876.  This is, arguably, the greatest name of any American athlete – nay, any American, athlete or not – ever.  Also, you have to respect those amazing stats coming from a little guy.  I might even look big next to Mordecai.  Plus, he pitched for the Brooklyn Tip-Tops and the Chicago Whales.  You just have to admire that.  I think I just found the name for my future son…

Mordecai Brown
Mordecai Peter Centennial Brown (Three Finger or Miner)

Bats Both, Throws Right
Height 5′ 10", Weight 175 lb.

Debut April 19, 1903
Final Game September 4, 1916
Born October 19, 1876 in Nyesville, IN
Died February 14, 1948 in Terre Haute, IN

Inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1949.

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        One of the game’s great stories, Three Finger Brown threw 11 scoreless innings in the Cubs last WS victory (1908), and his ’06, ’08 and ’09 seasons are the stuff of legend. Visit BSMemorial- a baseball blog.

Wait a second, are there whales in Chicago?

Punkins and other goodies


Last night, MP and I ventured on a trip back to our childhood.. Well, maybe her childhood, I did this just a few years ago. Anyway, we carved pumpkins. While I think she neglected to remember how much cleaning and de-gunking there was involved in the whole carving process, she managed to make one of the scariest pumpkins I’ve seen. A co-worker actually asked me if she was a KISS fan — to which I answered “uhhh… no.” Mine is the messed up ‘scary’ tree which isn’t so scary, and doesn’t look that much like a tree.

Things that are getting on my nerves as of late:

I cannot wait until WNYC ends their pledge drive. I’ve given them money.. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever considered making a pledge for public broadcasting. It felt good. Now let’s get back to the programming. It’s been going on (for what seems like) years!

I absolutely detest CNN’s newest temporary anchor. Every morning for the last 5 years I’ve watched CNN’s morning show. I’ve always loved the cast: Jack Cafferty (wherever he has gone), Miles O’Brien, Soledad O’Brien (no relation), Anderson Cooper (yes, he started on CNN AM), Bill Hemmer (another MIA), Paula Zahn (the one who started it all), Sanjay Gupta, Chad Myers, Andy Sewer (minding your business!) and Jefferey Toobin (on law). Every once in a while someone will go on vacation, which will lead to someone filling it. Usually this filler-inner is a future host of the show (at least from what I’ve seen).. But, this new person Zain something-or-other is horrible. She’s driving me nuts. She flirts with everyone on the show, and makes stupid side-remarks at everything that is said. I can’t stand it. CNN — TAKE HER AWAY!

Yesterday I went to go buy a cookie at the weekly Journal Square Farmer’s market. After giving the nice lady $1.50 for my Hamentaschen (yes, they have them there year round — strange), a woman comes out of nowhere and askes me “Can I please have a dollar.” I’ve got my wallet in my hand, and she’s seen my 3 singles that I have. What am I supposed to say? Next time: No. Definitely not. Sorry. I don’t care. This time: Umm.. yeah, I guess (with a sigh, and a disgruntled look towards the woman selling me my Jewish treat). Since when is it acceptable to ask for a dollar. I thought it was “Can you spare some change?!” Since when is a dollar “Change.”

Things that have made me happy as of late:

Flickr now supports print ordering. Now you can go and order 4×6’s of any Flickr photo (including my own), for just 20 cents! Not only that, for $16.99 you can order a 20 pack of stamps with that photo on it. About time!!!

A new video from Grandaddy (a band that I found at Bonnaroo) filmed entirely on an Apple II computer. Excellent.

Guinness – for strength

So, while I haven’t had anything substantial to post (besides snakes and snakes biting off people’s dale sveum’s and other nonsense) .. I figured I’d continue with that trend. Posting nonsense is better than not posting — right?

Rumor has it, we’re supposed to be getting a Northeastern. It’s been coming up the coast, and it just started raining here in NJ this evening. How exciting!

The heat has kicked in, and my slippers are on. Summer is over. (How not exciting).

But finally, they’ve aired this new commercial in England for Guinness. I find it very exciting!

(All this — and I was still able to adjust my periodic scripts using Tiger’s launchd plist’s to perform maintenance at a more appropriate time, and repair all of my disk permissions without having to do anything! HOW EXCITING!)

Being Subservient

One of the most amazing Internet Marketing campaigns ever launched has got to be the Subservient Chicken. For those of you unfamiliar with this famous chicken, it’s a Burger King “ad” for their chicken sandwhich (which was new at the time of launch, now — not so much).

Either way, it’s amazingly clever. I just thought I’d have to share with everyone, in the event that you’re unfamiliar with our friend the chicken. Now, if you’d like to talk about Burger King’s latest marketing campaign &emdash; The King.. Well, let’s just say that he’s the pretty damn scary.

Meanwhile, I just found that you can buy the King Mask or a Subservient chicken mask online. Unfortunately the King is sold out, otherwise I’d most definitely wear it out on Halloween. But the Web site, is absolutely out of control. Captain / CJ &emdash; I highly recommend it. Link.

More Things that go slither in the toilet

So, thanks to my loving mother — I’m definitely no longer using any toilet facilities. I realized a day or so ago that I had posted my UK snake item under Miss Possible’s name.. but of course, it’s yours truly that has the incredible fear of the specific reptile variety.

In any event, I thought I’d follow up and share — that there are snakes here in NJ Toilets. If it was Lousianana or Michigan or St. Peterburg, Florida.. I wouldn’t care. But here in New Jersey? Oy.

Six-Foot Snake Makes Toilet Home

Dale, We Hardly Knew Thee

Let me be among the many to wish Dale "Windmill Arms" Sveum a not-so-fond farewell.  Despite the Sox’ (and Francona’s) desire to keep him (that’s what the press release states, anyway), Old Windmill will be plying his trade – which is attempted murder of his team’s baserunners – for the Milwaukee Brewers in 2006.  I still contend that Gabe Krapler nearly killed himself on an innocent home run merely at the sight of rounding second base and seeing Happy Arms frantically waving him home.  If you watch the Blue Jays’ replay of that injury, you can see Sveum still waving Krapler home as he lied incapacitated on the infield dirt.

Despite the Sox not making the World Series this year, who would have thought that it would turn out to be such a deeply satisfying season?  We were able to rid ourselves of Old Mustache Face and Old Windmill Arms in the same year.  To that, my friends, I drink!

In a side note, it’s almost a shame that Old Windmill Arms is leaving us.  My brother-in-law, Bubba, had just come up with the brilliant idea of using Dale Magoo’s name as a term for the male genitalia.  It just fits.  We got together for Wednesday soccer last night, celebrated the departure of Oops I Did It Again Sveum, and couldn’t stop using his name in vain.  Just try it and I guarantee you’ll get hooked.  During the Astros locker room celebration last night, Roger Clemens took a champagne cork in the old Dale Sveum…

Toilet Dwellers

While minding my own business today at Empire Fitness, I was watching BBC World News (like I normally do) while working out on the treadmill. Twenty minutes or so past the hour, the reporter starts talking about an unbelieveable story that took place in Manchester, England.

Fortunately, I was able to find the story on the Web so you too can experience my horror. I nearly fell off the exercise machine when to my surprise, I learn about a 10 foot Boa Constrictor that was living in the pipes of a house. Residents of the house have complained to the landlord that the vile creature was living in the pipes, and would come out of their toilets, but the landlord didn’t believe them. Especially, when he asked the local fire department to trowl through the pipes to see what they could find. (At which point the snake just ducked back into the sewer, hiding from the fire fighters).

I will never use the toilet again.