The Jude Law/Natalie Portman/Julia Roberts/Clive Owen film Closer opened in theaters over a year ago. I remember sitting in the small, ancient, cozy Cameo movie theater with my ex-girlfriend Krazee Donna (who coolly lived right above the movie theater) to watch Garden State for the second time. The preview for Closer came on and we simultaneously looked at each other, saying, “We are NOT going to see that movie!” Even the preview made us feel dark and dirty. We went on to agree even further that watching a movie like that would not be good for a couple and it might even sow the first seeds of breaking up. I even had a friend or two who went to see Closer either on a date or with their significant other. To me, that was like playing with fire.
Well, my “relationship” with Krazee Donna didn’t even outlast Closer‘s run at the box office. And my current status with Swedish Girl could not be on sounder footing. So, while I still wouldn’t watch Closer with Swedish Girl, I was okay with staying up way past my bedtime last night to watch it. I had just been discussing it not two hours earlier with roommate extraordinaire Petro, so fate was telling me something.
The movie definitely took its toll on me. It might still be too early for me to critique it, so I’m hesitant to use the word powerful, but it certainly was jarring, disconcerting. I’m not nearly as fucked up as Jude Law’s character was and he’s the one who started the whole mess in which the four of them find each other. So, while I’m glad I didn’t see it before now, I’m glad I finally did. In a way, it was like standing up to the Boogey Man and staring him down. Oh, and seeing Natalie Portman acting in stripping scenes wasn’t bad either. As for you, Julia “Horsetoothed Jackass” Roberts, thanks for keeping your clothes on.

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