The Diatribe * net

While watching The Price is Right last week, I was struck with the thought of the season - taxes.  Taxes are just a dirty little bitch.  Those who win cash and prizes from game shows, lotteries, and the like must report those winnings to the IRS.  Richard Hatch failed to report his $1 million Survivor 1 winnings to the IRS to avoid paying over $200,000 in taxes and now he’s on trial.  Umm, Richie, why don’t you just pay the fucking taxes and move on?

Sure, taxes suck, but if I won a big cash prize, I would be okay with paying the taxes.  I’d just consult with an accountant and make sure I put enough money aside for taxes before doing anything fun with the money. 

This brings me to game show contestants.  What if a regular schlub like me wins $50,000 in prizes from TPIR?  Then what?  It’s not like the show gives me a check.  They give me the bedroom set, grandfather clock, set of golf clubs, trip to Perth (and, by the way, all flights are out of LAX;  I live near Boston; am I supposed to pay for a flight from Boston to LA just to take the free trip I won that I then have to pay taxes on?), and Ford Mustang I just won.  And then the IRS expects me to pay about $10,000 or $20,000 in taxes???  I’m not exactly sure how it works with winnings, but where are we supposed to come up with this money?

I remember that the IRS treated as prize winnings all those cars that Oprah Winfrey gave her audience that day a couple of years ago.  She tried to say they were gifts and probably didn’t know her fans would be walloped by taxes due.  So, it’s probably better to just win ca$h or else winning $50,000 in prizes might just ruin your life.