The Diatribe * net

So, I’ve found that for some Jews.. there’s a fascination with Christmas songs. I am one of those Jews. Ever since High School or so, I’ve fell in love with Christmas music. Thing is, I’m not talking about Christmas Carols or anything.. I’m talking about what I have dubbed ‘Alternative Christmas Music.’ What I mean by that is Tori Amos doing “Little Drummer Boy”, U2’s “Baby Please Come Home (For Christmas)”, The Waitresses “Christmas Wrapping”, and even Fountain of Wayne’s “I want an Alien for Christmas.”

But, I think my favorite Christmas tune has to be Jill Sobule’s cover of Robert Keen’s “Merry Christmas from the Family..” Here’s a YouTube Clip of the Song (No Video) , but you can find a tribute via lyrics are after the jump..

Merry Christmas From the Family by Jill Sobule

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party
We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn’t know what to think of him until he sang
Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Neil
Of course he brought his new wife Kay
Who talks all about AA
Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel
The First Noel

Cook the Turkey
Turn the ball game on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog’s gone
Send somebody to the Quickpak Store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Halleluja everybody say Cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can’t remember how I’m kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw a breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night, Silent Night, Oh Silent Night

Cook the turkey turn the ball game on
Make Bloody Mary’s
Cause We All Want One!
Send somebody to the Stop ‘N Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Halleluja, everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the Family

Feliz Navidad