Archive for October, 2009

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And the endoscopy says…

October 9th, 2009

This past Wednesday, I trucked into El Camino Hospital to get an endoscopy to find out what the heck is going on down there in my pancreatic region. The procedure was quicker and more painless than I had remembered from the last time I had one of these (10+ years ago) and I’m scheduled for an appointment on Wednesday to discuss what the results mean.

Basically, they found that there is some permanent damage to my pancreas. This likely means some pretty dramatic lifestyle changes from here on out, which is to be expected. I think the biggest question that comes to mind, however, is how long I may have had pancreatic issues.

I’ve been struggling with digestive problems (lactose intolerance among other things) for over 10 years. I remember back in Boston just after I graduated college, that I had spent several months going to a gastroenterologist going through various tests (colonoscopies, endoscopies, barium swallows, and other fun things) to try to identify the cause of these issues.

Nothing was conclusive, and the doctor said it was likely just a bad case of GERD (acid reflux) and we’ve left it at that. The daily doses of Protonix have helped keep the stomach pain to a minimum over the years, but this case of pancreatitis very well may have been the last straw.

I’m obviously speculating here. What surprises me the most about this condition is that it’s most likely linked to alcohol. In my case, over the last 10 years, I rarely drank over the medical recommendation for alcohol drinks for a male (14 drinks/week). This does not necessarily mean that the alcohol could not have impacted this. If I had a pre-existing condition, even small amounts of alcohol may have made this worse. This in combination with my high cholesterol could very well have led to gallbladder issues and other digestive problems.

That said, regardless of what got me here — it looks like I’m going to be managing this condition for the rest of my life. I will most certainly know more once I talk to the doctor on Wednesday. I’m just hoping for some kind of path to short term resolution of the immediate symptoms (ie. NOT EATING) and being able to get back to work and my life. I miss being around people and this entire situation is wearing on my patience.

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Nonsense makes you smarter?!

October 7th, 2009

See, this is what I missed about the Google ‘ole diatribe. The ability to find a crazy ridiculous article and post a few good thoughts about it!

Ahh, it’s good to be back.

In case you missed it (and if you’ve seen my Facebook recently, you probably didn’t), there was a great article in Today’s NY Times about how Nonsense can actually make you more intelligent. I think this is extraordinary!

Being a gigantic fan of the absurd (and I’m sure my fellow diatribe cohorts would agree), I’m happy to learn that my absurdity (and the absurdity of my friends) is actually improving society at large. The next time I’m at a pizza joint, and I convince a guy to order a specific meat topping (just for the heck of it) or use olives for what they’re really intended for, I will know deep down, that I am helping out the human race.

So, the article talks about how after witnessing absurd behavior (or reading an absurd story in this case), people were more apt to identify patterns in chaos than those people who read a more traditional story.

In the most recent paper, published last month, Dr. Proulx and Dr. Heine described having 20 college students read an absurd short story based on “The Country Doctor,” by Franz Kafka. The doctor of the title has to make a house call on a boy with a terrible toothache. He makes the journey and finds that the boy has no teeth at all. The horses who have pulled his carriage begin to act up; the boy’s family becomes annoyed; then the doctor discovers the boy has teeth after all. And so on. The story is urgent, vivid and nonsensical — Kafkaesque.

After the story, the students studied a series of 45 strings of 6 to 9 letters, like “X, M, X, R, T, V.” They later took a test on the letter strings, choosing those they thought they had seen before from a list of 60 such strings. In fact the letters were related, in a very subtle way, with some more likely to appear before or after others….

But perform they did. They chose about 30 percent more of the letter strings, and were almost twice as accurate in their choices, than a comparison group of 20 students who had read a different short story, a coherent one.

I can definitely agree with this. I’m constantly looking for patterns in all sorts of stuff. Patterns on the wall. Patterns of a row of bikes. You name it! Maybe you do too, I don’t know.. I don’t live in your brain, but considering my general nonsense mindset — I think there’s something there.

So, you heard it here, folks.. now, go stand backwards in an elevator and make some people smarter.

Update: To prove my point, this post was filed in a category known as “Nonsense.” A category of which, this now becomes the 69th post (get your mind out of the gutter). The nonsense category is also the most posted category, followed closely by the Internet. But I mean, c’mon… where would The Diatribe be without these two things? I rest my case.

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Posted in Nonsense

What I’ve been up to..

October 5th, 2009

It’s been quite a while since I’ve come ’round these parts. It’s been a hectic couple of months, for those of you that know me well.

The Design
The look of The Diatribe was driving me nuts. It didn’t feel right. I needed to revert it to a more blog-like style. I figured this was a little more appropriate. Considering the lack of authorship from my cohorts, I’ve also personalized it a little more for your truly. I’m not kicking anyone out of The Diatribe, just personalizing it, considering I have more than 3/4 of the posts on here. :)

Where am I
I moved up to the Big City a few months ago. It was partially this move that probably prompted my downfall, but I’ve taken up residence in the Noe Valley neighborhood of San Francisco — which is right about here (and no, that’s not my house):

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My Health
Over the past two months, I’ve been battling a terrible case of pancreatitis that was brought on most likely by a gallstone. I spent 2.5 weeks in the hospital (two of them, actually) and the rest of the time I’ve spent resting in bed and on the couch laying down. In my most recent doctor’s visit, I found out that I was no longer suffering symptoms caused from my pancreas, but it’s most likely that the gallstone that caused this little issue is now in some inappropriate place in my innards, causing the pain and discomfort.

I’ve been on a lovely feeding tube for the past 2+ months, and would die for some pizza, chicken wings or pad thai. Regardless, I have a procedure scheduled for this Wednesday to find that little bugger and then I should know more about my return to normalcy.

Conclusion
So, for the most part, I won’t be updating the Diatribe that regularly. It’s more of a place to put some thoughts or commentary that is longer than 140 characters. So, stay tuned.. but don’t expect a flood of new bathroom reading material to crop up here. We’ll take it in stride. :)

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Posted in California, Life