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The Tattoo

January 26th, 2010

For over ten years I’ve wanted a tattoo. I’ve wanted to get something that not only signifies who I am, but something that I will always appreciate. I’ve always felt that having something permanently etched into your body is an important decision and for the longest time I was leaning towards getting my name tattooed in hebrew. I felt this was appropriate as it was two things that would never change: My Judaism and my name.

While I liked this idea, I was never excited about it enough to actually get it done. In light of all that I went through in 2009, I finally came up with my idea for a tattoo. In continuing with the Hebrew theme, I’ve decided to get “Never Forget” or more specifically “Never  Will I Forget” tattooed in hebrew.

There are many reasons for my decision, but mainly I never want to forget all that I have learned in the past year.  I’ve learned about myself, relationships, the importance of your health, and most importantly, I’ve learned who I am. Additionally, the concept of “Never Forget” in Judaism relates to the importance of never forgetting what happened to the Jewish people during the Holocaust. I really like the dual meaning and I’m very excited to get my new tattoo this coming weekend.

While I haven’t finalized my decision on the font / design, I have yet to decide where I want to get it as well. Originally, I was thinking that I wanted to get it centered between my shoulder blades — however I’ve started to lean towards my right arm, as I feel as though it’s important to get it someplace I can easily see it, considering the message.

I’m getting it done at Black Heart Tatto, in San Francisco by Juan Puente. Before I get it, he said that he could do a stick-on stencil so I could see what it looks like on me before anything permanent is done. I may need to see it before I decide. I have narrowed it down to one of the following three fonts, but fortunately, I still have a few days to figure out the details.

Tattoo

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The Return to Normalcy

January 12th, 2010

As many of you probably know, I spent all of last week on vacation on The Jam Cruise. For those not familiar with the cruise, it’s basically a music festival or Jazz Fest on a cruise ship. This particular year, most of the artists are of the Jazz, Blue Grass, or Jam variety but there were a few electronic-style musicians as well such as Pretty Lights, Sound Tribe Sector Nine and Lotus.

FFrom the moment that I got to the airport, I started meeting fellow Cruisers. Pete and I managed to meet at least a dozen people before even setting foot on board the MSC Poesia, as everyone was super-excited. As soon as we got onboard the ship, we had a blast. We quickly set up our door decorations and were off to explore the ship. Much like last year, the main venues were the Pool Deck, the Theater located in the bow of the ship, the Zebra Lounge (similar to the Leopard Lounge from last year), the Jam Room and the Disco (both of which were located in the very rear of the boat).

» Read more: The Return to Normalcy

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The Recovery: Part Deux

December 24th, 2009

After my discharge from Beth Israel hospital in New York City this past Monday, I quickly flew back to California to rest and recover. The parting words from the doctor went something like:

You will probably have some pain for the next few days, but as long as it progressively gets better you will be alright. Within a week, you should probably be feeling back to normal.

With that advice, I resumed a semi-normal life back in San Francisco. For some reason, though, yesterday I started to feel almost worse than I had in several days. Throughout most of the day while I was working from the confines of my comfy bed, I noticed that my pain level was increasing. Additionally, I was pretty much in constant pain all day long — no matter what I did.

» Read more: The Recovery: Part Deux

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Sunday night update

December 20th, 2009

I saw my attending physician an hour ago and she was very happy with my progression. She ordered me a clear liquid dinner which went down really really well and that means that I get a real breakfast and lunch tomorrow.

If I can tolerate them with mild pain, I will be able to be discharged tomorrow afternoon. She expects me to still be in pain when I eat for the next week, but I am already 75-80% better and am out of the danger zone.

Looks like I’ll be staying in NYC tomorrow night at a hotel. Good news!

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Sunday in the Hospital

December 20th, 2009

After talking to the resident doctor today, my lipase levels are around 1100 and are still elevated. She insisited that I shouldn’t pay too much attention to the levels, though as long as they are going down — it’s more important to see how I feel. Pancreatitis is treated clincally rather than through tests (and I’ve heard that before).

That said, I have felt pretty good today. I got up and walked around a bit, cleaned myself up and shaved. After all that was done I was pretty much pain free, which is a great sign. It’s laying in bed that, for some reason, makes me in a little more discomfort.

The doctors (and the GI that the resident spoke to) follow the same school of thought as all of the other doctors I’ve talked to about pancreatitis in that I should start on clear liquids as soon as I am feeling hungry as that will not impact my recovery. Unfortunately, I am so tainted by my first case of this, and I really felt I was rushed too quickly to eat — and that may or may not have contributed to my lengthy recovery.

So, I asked her if anyone else came in here with pancreatitis if they would start me on clear liquids by now — and she said most likely, depending on how I felt. So, I might try some broth and jello for dinner tonight and see how I feel. I want to give myself a little more time to rest before I rush to eat, but I am definitely starting to get more and more hungry.

The fact that my first recovery took so long and I had such a bad case has really tainted my view of this condition and makes me extremely skeptical of everything.

On the roommate front, the guy next to me has some serious ulcers on his feet. He is extraordinarily overweight and the doctors flat out told him today that he’s more or less on a death sentence if he doesn’t clean up his act. He has 3 holes in his feet that are leaking (and smell absolutely disgusting) and the doctor said it’s not going to get any better unless he starts today to never “eat anything that tastes good again.” Regardless, he doesn’t seem to be paying much attention as he ordered two of every dessert when the nurse came to take his menu tomorrow. He’s definitely a character.

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Deja Vu All Over Again

December 19th, 2009

Here I am again. In the hospital with Pancreatitis. Less than 12 hours before I went to the ER, I was at my company holiday party telling co-workers that I hadn’t seen in months just how much better I was feeling and how much healthier my lifestyle has been since my recovery.

I have been consistenly exercising 5 days a week, eating a very healthy diet and I have not had any alcohol since July.

But yet, somehow, yesterday morning while packing my clothes and getting ready for my weekend in NYC and my Sunday flight back to SFO, I started experiencing some pain in my abdomen. I headed to work for a few hours and quickly realized that I should probably go to the ER.

Turns out my lipase levels were up around 6,000 again (when a normal level is ~100), which is an immediate sign of pancreatitis. On the bright side, my pain is much much more tolerable this time around and I am hoping that this is a sign that it is a much milder case.

My bloodwork this morning showed an elevated lipase level, still, but it was coming down. I have a strong feeling that I will not be on my flight out to SFO tomorrow — but I am hoping to be headed back sometime this week, in full health.

The first time, this was traumatic. This time it’s a fucking pain in the ass.

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The Specialist

October 26th, 2009

I had my appointment with Dr. Sanjay Ramrhakiani today, who went over all of my tests and results with me. He was much more thorough and explanatory than my other doctor and I really appreciated his approach. Nothing was found in my blood tests or any of my previous tests, which means that it’s possibly just that my nerve endings near my pancreas are at a heightened sense of alertness and will identify even small amounts of pain or discomfort as severe pain back to the brain.

He doesn’t know what else could be wrong, as I tested negative for auto-immune pancreatitis and my enzyme levels for the pancreas were normal. Granted, I did get the blood work about a week after the rice incident, but he can tell for certain that I did not have any sort of pancreatitis flare-up.

He’s prescribed me a sort of anti-depressant to help reduce my brain’s pain response and has given instructions to taper down from the Dilaudid. He’s also suggested that I continue on a chicken broth diet for a few days, then branch out to other things, and hope to get to a soft food diet next week — when he can then remove the feeding tube.

Additionally (and this is the best news), the pancreatic scarring that he found is not caused from pancreatitis but is actually common in most adults that drink moderate amounts of alcohol. The scarring he said was normal and that he himself would probably have a similar looking pancreas.

I’m supposed to just start eating, starting with clear liquids and slowly move towards soft foods over the next week and then go from there.

I’m somewhat encouraged by the news, though I still have this fear in the back of my mind that there is something they’re missing. Either way, his priority is to get me off of the tube ASAP and that I’ve suffered through this enough. Hopefully, next week will be the week. We’ll see!

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Posted in Health