Ok. I just received the strangest e-mail ever at my gmail account. I thought thediatribe.net had been hacked! Old Mustache Face? I was clueless. Brandon was at the store. And I was trying to make sense of the madness…

When he got back I was like I just got this really weird e-mail…

From: oldmustacheface@ireallysuck.com

To: XXX@gmail.com
Date: May 13, 2005 5:50 PM

Name: Dave McCarty
Email: oldmustacheface@ireallysuck.com
Telephone: 617-XXX-XXXX
IP address: XX.XX.XXX.XX
DNS: XX.XX.XXX.XX
Your message: Please let me join your fun little blogging club. Heck, I have nothing else to do these days. I promise I\’ll shave my 1870s mustache if you take a chance on me!

Brandon laughed and laughed. But yet we were still stumped.

Until we deduced that Cool Jesus is playing some cruel tricks around these parts.

Watch out for that one!

Once upon a time, Brandon and I decided to move to New York (Ok. Ok. It’s really New Jersy, but it’s hard for a Mass girl to admit she’ll be known as a Jersey Girl).

I spent what probably equates to 80 hours working on my resume and another 80 on the job hunt. I searched Monster, HotJobs, CareerBuilder, craigslist daily. I wrote targeted cover letters full of self-aggrandizing statements, like “Your position for a INSERT JOB TITLE advertised on INSERT JOB SITE is an excellent fit for my qualifications, as my attached resume will attest.” I worked my ass off. And now I have a job that I am really excited about, that I got through someone I worked with through Boston.com… Just goes to show you how important networking really is.

But in the end, it all comes down to fate and I think I can attribute this to a new moon rising…

It seems like ages ago that I started my resume, but it all began at the end of March [note Wayne's world doodly doo flashback music playing] . . .

Like all things I do, I slaved over my resume for long hours every night after work. I brainstormed. I contemplated. I discovered choice job descriptions and analyzed the skillset. I evaluated my brainstorming list. I pruned. I clarified. I expanded. I had 6 or 7 documents full of information. I wrote. I rewrote. I crafted the perfect marketing message of why I was the best person on earth to do anything and everything under the sun.

A month later, my resume was complete. I handed it off to several co-workers and friends. I thought for sure they would provide some additional suggestions, but every one of them said, “Yeah, this is good.” Wow. Thanks… I think.

Finally, I could begin applying for jobs. But then, I stumbled onto the horrifying realization that I also had to write a cover letter. Good grief. Wasn’t my resume enough? Didn’t it contain every bit of information as to why I was so great?

Oh no, now with so few brain cells left for contemplating why I was the greatest human being on the planet, I had to write a thoughtful and concise cover letter. Well, that was it. I was ready to snap.

In the end, I sucked it up and wrote some standard generic bit that when something like this:

Dear Hiring Manager,

Your position for a INSERT JOB TITLE advertised on INSERT JOB SITE is an excellent fit for my qualifications, as my attached resume will attest. My background includes extensive experience in the development and maintenance of Web applications.

Key strengths I offer include:

* Unique understanding of online publishing with solid, integrated background in technology, content management, user interface design, and information architecture

* Experienced in communicating with non-technical staff

* Ability to analyze problems and implement creative, effective solutions

* Dedicated and self-motivated; consistently delivers projects on deadline

At my current employer, XXX, I have made outstanding contributions on numerous, high-visibility projects and achieved increasing levels of responsibility from Content Developer to Product Manager of Content Systems. In this capacity, I manage feature development, code new tools, and act as the resident expert on our system’s architecture and functionality.

I am eager to learn more about your work at the INSERT COMPANY NAME and discuss how I might best apply my skills to your advantage.

As the days progressed without a peep from anyone, I realized this cover letter just wasn’t going to cut it. I had to step it up and really target it to the company and job I was applying for.

Now, for every job I found, I had to write something truly customized to the company and their needs. That increased my average job application time by 50%.

Finally, this week beginning just after May 8th, I began to receive a deluge of phone calls. I started out with one interview on Wednesday in New York and it quickly morphed into 4 along with a phone interview for Thursday. When it rains it pours.

Now I come to realize, that there is nothing that I could have done different or better. It was all fate, as my horoscope describes (I highly recommend this site, astrologyzone.com, as it is eerily dead-on time and time again):

You are about to encounter some exciting career progress, so buckle up – you may be in for an exciting ride! It all starts with the important new moon, May 8, which will brighten your tenth house of prestige, promotion, honors, and awards. If you hope for a promotion or new position with another company, the two weeks that follow the new moon in Taurus (18 degrees) on May 8 will be when the right opportunity should surface. Your strongest energy during that period will be centered in the early days, May 8 -13, so try to get the ball rolling then with interviews and presentations on your calendar.

If you took a job last January, it would have represented a lateral move rather than an impressive step up. [wow isn't that the truth]

This year, 2005, could become a landmark year for career success! Even if you experienced a devastating setback due to the past eclipses, you have your chance NOW! You must reach out to find the right opportunity for you. [ha. ha. ha.]

Elsewhere in your chart, you have a few ups and downs concerning finances. Mars has just entered your eighth house, which suggests you may start to spend quite a bit of money between now and June 11. Remember – keep an eye on your checking account – the Sun and Uranus will be at odds on May 31, and may cause an unexpected surprise when a check bounces. Be careful, dear Leo. I still want you to go away on your trip! [wow, between moving and bonnaroo that is right on]

Today, I received an offer for the company I really loved. I knew when I left that interview that I wanted to work there as it just instantly felt right.

What is the moral of the story? I’m not positive, though I’m tempted to not spend as much time on my resume next time if the planets are in alignment ;-)

I am knocking on wood while I write this, but all the pieces have come together like magic.

A toast to the Big Apple as I bid the Big Dig a fond farewell.

In preparation for our new apartment in Hobokistan, I’ve been buying goods on Amazon, like a set of Cuisinart pots and pans. When the box arrived today, it weighed a few megatons. I decided to open the box and check out the goods before bringing them home. I opened the first box, using a pen ;-), only to find it perfectly nested inside of another box. I pulled this box out of the first one and opened it up, only to find another box perfectly nested inside of this one. I opened up this box, positive that I was going to find another box inside and confirm my growing suspicion that all the weight was coming from deeply nested boxes… However, this one finally produced the goods.

The amazing part of this story is that Amazon ships like millions of items of varying sizes, do they really stock all these perfectly sized boxes to wrap around the original boxes?

Anyways, this whole experience made me feel like a kid again when I used to play with a set of Russian nesting dolls that my mom had. Of course Amazon’s boxes weren’t nearly as ornately decorated.

The Russian word for these wooden dolls is “matryoshka”, but they are also called matrioshka, matryoshkas, babushka dolls, babushka’s doll, matroshka, matryushka, and stacking dolls.

The dolls my mom had didn’t look anything like these bad boys… and that’s a good thing.

At least now, I have some extra boxes for packing. Thanks Amazon for contributing to my moving fund and the enormouse problem of consumer packaging waste.

Now that the bombshell has been dropped at work, I can post here. Yes it’s me: Brandon’s girlfriend and co-worker, though most of you probably already knew that. Word spread like wildfire, I blinked and everyone knew that we were dating and leaving. It’s the double, double whammy.

Today was crazy, unbelievable, ironic, sad, happy, scary, exhilirating… it was every emotion intensified. At times I was grinning ear to ear, others I was dabbing at my eyes. One enlightening part of giving our notice at work was not only realizing how much I’m going to miss the place, but also how much the company and our co-workers are going to miss us.

Of course, I don’t have a job yet, but I’m not too worried, the pieces have been fitting together on their own.

Like a co-worker of mine said today, there are three things you have to figure out in life: 1) where you want to live 2) who you want to be with and 3) what you want to do. He said that at any one time you can only focus on two of the three. Right now I have 1 and 2 locked in. So I’m not going to worry about 3 too much for now.

On that note, I think my horoscope is most apropos:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’ve been given a prophetic glimpse of the great victory that’s possible. You’re very close to neutralizing an old bugaboo and making sure that the past will no longer hold you back. Now comes the hardest part: Will you be able to sustain your concentration
until the triumphs are actually accomplished? Or will you be lulled into lazy complacency by the sense of security that your partial breakthroughs
have provided? Personally, I believe you *will* summon the dogged
ingenuity necessary to finish the job; you *will* turn *almost* into
*completely.*

Ha! If I’m reading this right, I should get up off my ass and find a job already! Then again, if I read into it more, it could mean that this is the opportunity to pursue all the thoughts I’ve had about doing something *completely* different with my life. Whatya think?