Category Archives: Friends

On Aging and Pensive Thoughts

Last weekend, I mentioned to some of the staunchest readers of The Diatribe that I wrote my previous blog entry while somewhat drunk.  It was, as far as I can recall, the only time I’ve written a serious entry while drunk.  Under the circumstances, I’m glad it was well received.  I was having doubts about the fact that I let too many feelings or emotions come out, which I usually try to keep in check.  I’m not saying that this will start a trend, but it’s good to keep in mind.

Late last week, I was talking to a co-worker and, knowing that Swedish Girl is still out of the country, he said, “Be good this weekend.  Don’t be going all crazy.”  I told him that it promised to be a low-key weekend because I was driving down to a baptism (party…as it turned out).  I then mentioned just how strange it is when your friends grow up and start having kids.  I still haven’t gotten over the fact that my friends are now married, and now they’re having babies.  I know I’m a few pounds heavier, a few steps slower, and my hair…well, I don’t want to talk about that…but I still feel young.  On the inside, I still feel like I did 10 years ago, which means that I feel like a college senior whose friends are all marrying off and having babies.  It just seemed to happen so fast.

A good friend once uttered to Captain Larby and me just about the best thing anyone’s ever told me, “Love is a dog from hell.”  And that is just as true as it ever was, but aging is also a dog.  With Swedish Girl not being around for the big baptism celebration party last weekend, being there solo made me feel like I did during all those crazy times when we were all in our 20s.  Time keeps marching on, though, and I’m not saying that marriage and babies are bad.  I’m halfway there myself and may end up having kids of my own someday. 

I have to thank Perry for trying to snap me out of my pensive daydreams last weekend.  I couldn’t adequately explain where I was coming from, so it probably sounded more like I felt old, as in tired, worn down, and crotchety.  But like I wrote earlier, it’s a mental thing.  I’m not fond of being 31 and I’ve fought these steps to adulthood tooth and nail along the way, only to fall victim to each and every one of them so far.  College, real life job, marriage, responsibility, et al.

That co-worker of mine is 49, by the way.  In retrospect, he put everything in perspective days before I even realized it.  “Cool Jesus,” he said, “you think you feel old now, you just wait until your friends start becoming grandparents.”

Welcome, jjj!

One of the greatest thing about our wedding was seeing so much family and friends that I’ve not seen in years! One such family member is my cousin, jjj, who I had not seen since I was about 18 — twelve years ago. After hanging out at the wedding and some back-and-forth via email, I realized that he would make a great addition to the collaborative diatribe that is The Diatribe * net.

After much careful deliberation, jjj agreed agreed to join up and contribute. So stay tuned and put your kidneys together to help me welcome our newest author — jjj.

Congratulations, LTJ and MP

I wanted to pass along a huge congratulations to the newlyweds. You guys threw an awesome 2 day party, replete with softball, horshoes, Fa-Jy-Ta’s, B-Side, Growlers, Jazz Hands the photographer, racing-stripe shoes, holding the chuppah and signing the ketubah, The Zohan, Gogol Bordello, Blinded by the Light, German lessons and much, much more.

Enjoy your time together, you deserve it!

Who are you again?

I just realized that I missed the entire month of June here on The Diatribe, along with a portion of May and almost half of July.  Sorry about that.  I’m back now and just wanted to check in and say ‘hey.’   I’ve missed out on so many Diatribe-worthy topics, but the break was much needed.  The only problem, besides, being rusty, is having the feeling that I’m a visitor, an outsider, now.  For those of you out there who don’t know me, I used to be a regular participant around these parts.  Hope to get back to that old regularity. 

I know I’ll catch all sorts of (completely worthy) shit for this, but my Diatribe downfall can directly be traced to the shearing of my hair.  I guess Samson was right and Delilah knew what she was doing.  The last time I was in this predicament (some 7.5 years ago), I said never again.  Someone once said to never say never again.  And I won’t.  But I’m sure thinking it. 

Here Come The Larby’s

That’s right.. we’ve got a number of visitors coming over the next few weekends.. Arriving this evening is none-other than The Captain and his wife, Mrs. Larby… We’re looking forward to hosting them for a weekend of California fun.

And then arriving next Friday is my dad and his fiancee, who are exploring the beautiful state of Oregon for a week or so before they make their way down to the exquisite Silicon Valley. We hope to show them a great time in our new neck of the woods as well.

All-in-all it should be a very exciting couple of weeks!

The Power of Persuasion

Several years ago, when my friend “Vandelay Industries” was still working in my office, we shared a cube wall for a while. I don’t know how we got any work done, because the days were filled with conversations, cracks, and office pranks. One day, I happened to make a comment about Hilary Swank and Vandelay just snapped. He made it clear that he did not find her attractive and could not stand to even hear her name. I had definitely tapped into something and I kept pressing. I would email him pictures of Ms. Swank and gush about how hot she is.

Note: I was not at all enamored with her at the time, but neither did I feel the distaste for her that Vandelay did. I merely felt that she was attractive, but had a overly toothy smile.

Over the last three years, I’ve made it a point to bring up Hilary Swank in conversation with Vandelay. It’s not as fun as it was then, because I can’t see his disgusted reaction in person. However, a couple of weeks ago, we were at a convenience store and I made a point of showing him Swank’s Esquire cover and the spicy pictorial inside. He just looked away.

Here’s the point, and this is an admission to Vandelay: I did not have nearly as high an opinion of Hilary Swank back then as I let on, but it was just too much of a comedy goldmine to let go. So I artificially amped up my love for Swank and it just grossed him out. The funny thing is, I ended up convincing myself that I think she’s mighty attractive (as long as she’s not smiling that giant toothy grin). I wasn’t sure when I would ever let Vandelay in on this gag, but this is as good a time as any. Why? you ask – because he emailed me a Howard Stern Show-induced admission a few days ago. I’ll save him the indignation of the exact quote, but let’s just say he’d have a date with Hilary.

So, the gag is kind of over, which is sad. But I feel that I’ve won a major victory. Happy Belated April Fools’ Day (for 2004-2007), Vandelay!

Puppy Kindgergarten

About a month ago, Miss Possible and I started taking Bogart to at a place in San Jose. After attending the first class, we found out that Bogart has some SERIOUS shyness issues and we needed to take him to puppy playgroups in order to get him used to playing with other dogs.

As it happens, there are two in our area — one on Friday nights and on on Sunday mornings — that ties in well with our Saturday morning Kindergarten class. This has become our weekends.

The best thing about the classes are the other dogs.. We know all the other owners, and they know us. Well, let me clarify. We know all the other dogs (and thus their owners) and they know Bogart (and thus us). Nobody knows anyone’s first name. Everyone knows the puppy’s name and then becomes associated with it.

For instance, there’s Beau, the Rambunctious Pug; Annie Oakley, the Loveable Puggle; Morty, the ‘Horny’ Bichon (and I say that in the most playful way); Poncho, the Loud Dachsund; Bonnie, The Playful Black Lab.. and that’s just the start.

Every week, we all head off to class — explaining to Bogart that he’s going to see all his friends (and often list them off), but he has no interest in playing once he gets there. He’s definitely making progress, but it’s been a very slow process.

There’s always next week, we say.. maybe Sadie will be at class and Bogart will play with her. Maybe Bogart’ll finally roughhouse with Tinkerbell. These are our friends — puppies. We know nothing of the owners — except a face. It’s kinda funny, when you think about it.

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Ok folks.. thanks to the for WordPress, I was able to seamlessly integrate my Flickr galleries into The Diatribe. While it does get a little messier if you want to order prints, it’s not the end of the world — it’s an easier interface overall.

Personally, I think I’m over hard copies of photos anyway.. with the exception of the rare few that you need to put in frames around your house. Photos are meant for sharing experiences and good times, right?. When you have prints, you invite friends and family to gather around and look at the photos of your trip to [insert cool place here]. Isn’t that the same thing as having them online and sharing them virtually? Then your friend/family can see them from wherever they are, at their convenience.

As long as you have a sturdy backup of your photos, you can order prints whenever you want (to frame, etc.) and you have them always.

Back to the story at hand, though.. clicking the photos link in the nav or going to you will be able to easily browse our latest Flickr photos. This includes the newest gallery of . Be sure to check them out!

Remembering New Years Past

One of our favorite games to play each New Years Eve is to look back to recall the New Years celebrations of ‘ole. As I had mentioned in a post earlier this week, this is going to be the first time in several years that I will not be spending New Years with Mrs. Larby, et al.

So, let me take a moment and play the game.. taking a trip back through the years and recount my New Years festivities for as far back as I can remember. If I am forgetting anything, please chime in.
Continue reading Remembering New Years Past